Why Now, Idle Hands, When I Fall & Lonesome Secrets were written in the winter of 1996. I was sulking - feeling alone - left out. Brett and Paul had been asked to join Grey Eye Glances. They were down in Nashville, recording. Even though Jen and I were expecting our first child - all I saw was black. These songs are from the mind set of a "would be" stalker. He thinks he's rehabilitated - but a girl walks by with a certain perfume that awakens the beast inside him. He follows her - learns everything about her. When she spurns his advances, he snaps. Like a little kid holding a duckling and accidentally squeezing it, suffocating it, he takes her life. Lonesome Secrets deals with his remorse. He decides to take his own life. As the train approaches, his eyes open - that moment of forgiveness is shattered when the train crushes his skull.

 
The Most Violent: When we (Echolyn) discused what kind of approach we would take for the album Mei, one idea was to have it take place in a car. So for some reason i thought of some of the things I did for the first time in a car. They were: smoking weed, having sex, dropping acid, shooting heroin. I had a chord progression and a melody that never really fit with the way Mei was progressing, so I saved it and turned it into something for myself. Bottom line - some of the most violent and the most beautiful things have happened to me in a car.



81702: We were on vacation at my sisters' house in Ocean City [New Jersey]. Both families were on the beach, except for our second child (who was only four months old) and myself. I was drinking (suprise, suprise) and decided to write a song while they were swimming. The song deals with my bouts of depression.

 
Little Thing: I was watching MTV2. There was a video - I forget what band it was - but the chorus was catchy so I figured out what the chords were (as close as I could) and thought that they if they had a hit with it there's no reason why I can't to (fat chance). The words deal with our money problems and some bad luck - but thru it all we can still smile.

Charles Bronson: I was watching a biography on him. They talked about the movie "Death Wish." I put myself in his position and immediately got pissed. I thought of the most vile things that would leave a bad taste in your mouth. Rape - Prejudice - Drunks - and Aids. I am death.

Evil Almighty: It's a cross between the way young girls dress now-a-days and a stripper. I find myself staring at the bare bellys and short skirts - when I realize that I have 2 girls of my own and when they come of age I don't want some filthy old man staring at them. The stipper is bored, looking past us, thinking only of the money she's making. The only let down is I'm horny and broke.

A Dead Giveaway: I tried to write something light - something bouncy - but by the end of the song things get ugly. I try to be a good husband - father - friend - worker, but there's a side of me that feels the need to self-destruct. The change is behind my eyes - my body language - they are a dead givewaway.

This Is My Halo: If I could have only put one song on this album, this was it. The song embodies the whole depression thing. Just when I think I'm safe, it comes back and envelopes my everything. It's a mood. Black as death, I move in.